Olney v Kettering 2nd December 2023

A warm welcome to Kettering even if the weather is now decidedly chilly. Kettering was once famous for its shoe industry but probably more renowned now for being the home of Wicksteed Park which will bring back memories of many peoples childhood, and also the home of the National Volleyball Centre. With Christmas on the way, Mr Harris is wondering what to buy Mrs Harris but he has wisely rejected the idea of Dignitas vouchers. Last year he surprised her when he took her up the Shard, but they must have overdone things as she later collapsed on the London Eye. He called home and the boys were obviously concerned but he assured them she was slowly coming round.

Meanwhile back to matters on the pitch. It would be a testing day for both players and supporters with the temperature not much above freezing all day. The early stages saw both sides showing attacking intent and it took until the 15th minute for the first score when Kettering were awarded a penalty at the scrum which was quickly tapped and driven over. A few missed tackles and turnovers seemed to be a feature in the proceedings and James Bennett took advantage of this with a bullocking run, then offloaded to Eddie Goss for him to level the score. Kettering hit back with a well-rehearsed move at the front of a lineout with their hooker finishing it off. Towards the end of the half, Olney’s forwards made good ground through the middle and Ethan Chambers was on hand to pick up and dart over. The conversion by Ewan Fuller taking the score at the break to 12-10.

First action of the second half was a shot at goal by Kettering which was unsuccessful but they stayed in the Olney 22 long enough for their forwards to gain a bit of an advantage and eventually drive over again for the try which this time was converted. Kettering’s backs had the next significant attack and some indifferent tackling allowed them to gain a bit too much space which led to a try wide out on the left. Olney hit back almost immediately after some good work by the forwards got them to within 10 m and Chambers was again on hand to finish the move. With 20 minutes left on the clock, the match was still fairly even but Kettering’s forwards managed to drive over to extend their lead when they had the chance close to the Olney line. A lineout move 5m from the Kettering line was well executed when Rob Morgan combined well with Tommy Herman who finished the move with a score. However, Kettering’s forwards got up a head of steam when next in the Olney 22 which led to another score for the away side. Olney were not yet out of it and the last 5 minutes were spent camped in the Kettering 22 leading to an obvious yellow card. The quick tap gave Fuller the chance which he took well and with the conversion Olney were within a score at 29-34. The final frenetic moments involved a bit of gamesmanship, some fraying tempers and the referee blowing to stop things getting out of hand and no further scores.

Possibly one that got away, as Olney are good enough to win games like this but the small errors occasionally just make the difference and today was probably one of those days. 2 bonus points is good though and Kettering will be more than happy with the 5 points they gained. Well done to all who braved the elements and to the comments from one supporter who said it was so cold that his scrotum resembled half a walnut and he’d heard that the local flasher has been out describing himself to people!

Single man Plod Soman has been on the dating scene again recently and this time it was with a transgender weightlifter. Apparently she was one of the best in her category at the clean and jerk but needed to do a bit more work on her snatch.