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The Fish have died, so keep yourselves amused
Many Thanks, Plum.
Rugby Club employ dog wardens to patrol new pitches !
Policeman suspect in Dickensian food poisoning scandal !
TEBS SELF IMPLODES !
SQUIRREL DROPS NUT !
Evil Dwarf Tosser Unmasked !
CAPTION COMPETITION - Please view the photograph below and send me your suggested caption, the best captions will be published on this page, and the overall winner will receive two and a half pints of your choice from me.
Caption competition No.2 - Kelsall gets stuck in
AND THE WINNER IS ...........BOB TAYLOR !
- Two and a half pints on their way to you Bob -
" NO KELSALL I'LL BE BUGGERED IF I'LL JOIN OLNEY"
TRIGGER HITS NEW LOW AT THE BULL BEER FESTIVAL !
Rhys With a spoon Reese Witherspoon
BOKS DENY NEW EYE GOUGING ACCUSATION !
BOB TAYLOR SNEAKS DOG INTO CLUBHOUSE !
BUSTER DENIES AUSSIE SUN HAS CAUSED AGEING
PETE SWEET SKIPS BAR DUTY FOR HOG ROAST EVENING !
BOB TAYLOR FINED FOR THROWING LITTER FROM CAR !
ENGLAND FLY HALF CRISIS SOLVED !
DAVE ADAMS IN LADY GODIVA STUNT !
CHRIS DAY REGRETS PANTO DATE !
I was at a cash machine when an old lady came up and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
RHYS BRINGS HOME THE BACON !
LOCAL TEACHER APPROACHES GAY COWBOY !
FIRST TEAM SECOND ROW OUT WITH BAD BACK !
LOCAL ROOFER IN DATE RAPE SHOCK PROBE !
Dean is a good man, Hitler was a bad man, but if you were all in an air balloon losing altitude................
Raana tries a pickled egg
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I
pushed him in front of a steam train.
He was chuffed to bits.
Quotes of the week -
Joe Dorrill - " Shut that door ! You'll let all the air out ! "
Johnny Carr on fundraising - " I will help on New Years eve, just let me know when it is
John Swallow on ouzo " Beacuse it's Greek, they drink it in Belguim"
Macca - " It's too early in the night to be drinking Hamlets"
Charlie Tompkins - " We could have pancakes one night for breakfast "
Joe Dorrell - " The alarm's not working, it went off this morning"
Joe Dorrell - "The seconds won by a point, 19 to something"
Ed asks Parky " Did they take you to that village that isn't there anymore ? "
Ian Bennet on plane to South Africa - " We are all in the same boat guys"
Johnsie - " How far away are we from here ? "
Mark Lay has secured the services of Japanese hooker - Idge E Fan yee for next season.
Trigger (Matt Boddy) Quotes -
" I was born in Northampton, at a very early age "
" I don't think I'm the most scared flier on this tour, Luke Day is a close second"
" What number is Channel 5 on ?"
Trigger - " I've got to go to bed"
Plum - " Why ? "
Trigger - " I've got to get up"
" Don't let the monkey see the rabbits "
" We were unbeatable, we lost the first two games."
" I never apologise, I'm sorry, but that's the way I am "
"The prices have fallen through the roof "
"The Kiwis have beaten New Zealand "
" I spent £700 on spending money"
"You cant beat real potatoes"
Whilst watching Spain v Germany " It's all Italy at the moment"
Driving the mini bus - " I'll reverse it in backwards"
On his holiday - " Yeah it's been great weather, a whole week of unbroken cloud"
" Look ! Someones shouting ! "
" Who's inlaws are you meeting , yours ? or your wives ?"
" The One Stop was shut due to the shortness of staff"
" He lives just up the road, he lives in Australia now"
" Plum can't have a bath with a carstor plast on "
" Leave the water running, or it will get sterile "
" Theres been an earthcake in Gwent "
" How much is a fiver worth in Scotland ?
" Its the best thing since sliced butter"
" Its the same price, but a little bit more expensive"
" I couldn't fight my way out of a wet steel bag "
" The traffic is really bad, if you are coming now, I would leave a bit earlier "
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