CHRIS DAY REGRETS PANTO DATE !
I was at a cash machine when an old lady came up and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
RHYS BRINGS HOME THE BACON !
LOCAL TEACHER APPROACHES GAY COWBOY !
FIRST TEAM SECOND ROW OUT WITH BAD BACK !
LOCAL ROOFER IN DATE RAPE SHOCK PROBE !
Dean is a good man, Hitler was a bad man, but if you were all in an air balloon losing altitude................
Raana tries a pickled egg
THINGS THAT I FIND DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS I FIND VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate
THINGS I FIND ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more cider for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Pork Scratching ? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to see me do a handstand.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
9. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.
Want to feel handsome ? Go shopping in Bletchley
Quotes of the week -
Joe Dorrill - " Shut that door ! You'll let all the air out ! "
Johnny Carr on fundraising - " I will help on New Years eve, just let me know when it is
John Swallow on ouzo " Beacuse it's Greek, they drink it in Belguim"
Macca - " It's too early in the night to be drinking Hamlets"
Charlie Tompkins - " We could have pancakes one night for breakfast "
Joe Dorrell - " The alarm's not working, it went off this morning"
Joe Dorrell - "The seconds won by a point, 19 to something"
Ed asks Parky " Did they take you to that village that isn't there anymore ? "
Ian Bennet on plane to South Africa - " We are all in the same boat guys"
Johnsie - " How far away are we from here ? "
Mark Lay has secured the services of Japanese hooker - Idge E Fan yee for next season.
Trigger (Matt Boddy) Quotes -
" I was born in Northampton, at a very early age "
" I don't think I'm the most scared flier on this tour, Luke Day is a close second"
" What number is Channel 5 on ?"
Trigger - " I've got to go to bed"
Plum - " Why ? "
Trigger - " I've got to get up"
" Don't let the monkey see the rabbits "
" We were unbeatable, we lost the first two games."
" I never apologise, I'm sorry, but that's the way I am "
"The prices have fallen through the roof "
"The Kiwis have beaten New Zealand "
" I spent £700 on spending money"
"You cant beat real potatoes"
Whilst watching Spain v Germany " It's all Italy at the moment"
Driving the mini bus - " I'll reverse it in backwards"
On his holiday - " Yeah it's been great weather, a whole week of unbroken cloud"
" Look ! Someones shouting ! "
" Who's inlaws are you meeting , yours ? or your wives ?"
" The One Stop was shut due to the shortness of staff"
" He lives just up the road, he lives in Australia now"
" Plum can't have a bath with a carstor plast on "
" Leave the water running, or it will get sterile "
" Theres been an earthcake in Gwent "
" How much is a fiver worth in Scotland ?
" Its the best thing since sliced butter"
" Its the same price, but a little bit more expensive"
" I couldn't fight my way out of a wet steel bag "
" The traffic is really bad, if you are coming now, I would leave a bit earlier "
