This Olney RFC Survival Guide is intended as a basic introduction on how to prepare for and react in a wilderness survival situation. These wilderness skills and techniques are provided for information purposes only and are not intended to take the place of a professional wilderness survival or first aid training course. Rather, they are intended to increase your awareness of the lifesaving importance of wilderness survival skills and to encourage you to seek professional training.

Lion – Basically all cats are the same. Lions are a bit bigger. As a lion attacks, throw a ball of wool, the lion will not be able to resist playing with the wool. Make a swift retreat.

Rhino – A rhino is like a hippopotamus with a big horn on its nose. Be sure to carry a large cork, as the rhino charges, place the cork on the horn.

A charging elephant – An elephant is like a big rhino with a flexible horn. As elephant approaches, place two pairs of flip flops in its path, whilst the attacker struggles to slip the flip flops on, make a hasty retreat.

Crocodile – A crocodile is a very big crested newt. Poke it in the eye. Make a hasty retreat.

Killer ants – Like normal ants with PMT. As colony approaches use a Pritt stick to draw a line in front of you, as the ants stick on your line, make a hasty retreat.

Polar Bear – Like any other bear, but available in white. If you get involved in a fight with a polar bear, remember they always lead with their left. Duck, and smack him with a right to the side of the head. Make a hasty retreat.

Grizzly Bear – Like a polar bear in brown. As bear approaches, place garden rake in its path. When bear steps on rake, the handle will fly up and hit the bear in the face. Make a hasty retreat.

DANGEROUS

HARMLESS

Giant Octopus – Like a hard jellyfish. Be sure to carry a roll of bubble wrap. While the octopus occupies itself popping the bubbles, quietly just swim away.

 

Bow & Arrow - actually, just thinking about it, a bow and arrow maybe too cumbersome for a small safari back pack, perhaps a sharpened HB pencil would be better suited for the smaller framed adventurer. Either way the theory is the same. You are confronted by an amorous camel. Before the camel is able to flicker her unusually long eyelashes at you and thus capture you under her alluring advances, you throw your pencil hard and fast at the camels hump, piercing said hump and then watch in disbelief as the once love enraged animal deflates before your eyes.

 

Advice from tour organiser Dean Henrickson -

 

 

I noted Harry's comments on the website and recall a similar event myself.
However, rather than using a Trout scarecrow I made use of the multi-continent adapted version of a Swallow-Crow.  This rare cross breed was equally effective in scaring off birds and is a far more useful travel companion as it has been known to work on both domestic and migratory birds from other continents.
If anyone needs one it has been reported that they can be found living in Olney under a tree.

 

John Swallow -

A giant Poly Toad. This is an aggressive form of amphibian that attaches itself to you at the 1^st opportunity and then proceeds to bleed you dry. You may see it coming due to its sheen and the sight of others diving for cover. This gives you a few seconds to quickly rub yourself in salt, dress in tweed and turn your back to it. After a few minutes The Poly Toad will move onto its next victim. But beware it is persistent

The Killer Bee

Is a ferocious member of the African animal kingdom with a huge appetite and very territorial When it approaches leave your food on the table and walk away making no sudden movement. Do not disturb it when is eating or sleeping as that is when it is most deadly. The best defence is to cover yourself in sick and hope that the BEE will slip in the sick breaking its nose, allowing you to make good your escape

This is only a sample of some of the useful tips gained by our members whilst on tour in South Africa, please check regularly for updates.

Take care out there,

GYFR